In one of my most recent Bi-Sexual moments, I began talking to this woman I have been casually seeing for a little over a month. She stated that recently to help pay for different aspects of college she had sold her used panties online. She informed me that there’s a real market out there for used panties. Me being the very curious person, I had to look into this. Sure enough I found 3 different men on Craigslist looking for used panties. I started to dig more, because Google is a magnificent thing. Turns out there is a website where women can sell used panties, photos, escort services and more. So what do you think I did? I signed up. Sure enough in the few days I have been on this website I have gotten requests from being an Escort, to wearing panties for a day and wiping my ass with them before sending them. I have also gotten a request asking if i wore plastic boots in the country with socks and if I would be willing to sell those socks…
I have spoken to a few guy friends I have who I would consider very sexual. They all have stated that they would never do it but could see people doing it. They continued to all state that there are some weird fetishes out there. One even stated he had an ex-girlfriend who would sell photos of her feet.
I decided to give this selling used panties a try. I spoke to one of the gentlemen on Craigslist and we came up with a plan. He requested I wear panties for at least 2 days, put them in a Ziploc bag and then give them to him and he would pay me. Let me tell you wearing panties for 2 days in a row is rather interesting. Usually I just wear undergarments to work and then take them off when I get home. Sometimes I don’t even wear panties to work. So having these babies on for a full 48 hrs is proving to be quite challenging. I guess selling used panties isn’t for everyone…
With the final divorce court date coming up in just a few weeks and having Christmas and New Years. It is time to start moving on. Start putting my life back together.
We always have that don’t we. Once someone moves on and we end up alone again or even after a close family member dies there is a time where we go through the process of grief, anger, regret and everything else. Then there is a time where we just have to move on. I feel that is where I’m at right now. I can’t be pissed at him forever, I mean I could be but that wouldn’t help anyone. I’ve been trying to get my life back in order one piece at a time. Now the puzzle is starting to come together and look like a beautiful piece of art work. It’s a process though, a very slow process. Filled with lots of bumps in the road and bad days. There are the good days though as well, the ones where you get to see friends (male and female).
I have had so many people I couldn’t see while I was married because my ex didn’t like them (they were males). Yet he could go hang out with any female he chose to and I was supposed to be fine with that. I’ve met some new people who have been awesome, including a new guy. Who at this point is just a friend but has potential to be more. He takes care of me when we are together. You can tell he cares for me but wants to take it slow. Which I am 100% fine with.
With every relationship end there is a grieving period and no one can tell you how long it will take. You don’t even know until one day you wake up and say, “today is going to be different. I will not cry all day today. I will be strong.” I remember I had that moment the Thursday before I kicked my ex out. That weekend we were going camping and going to go see a race. I spent the entire weekend talking to friends about it and keeping my distance from him. Yes we slept in the same bed Friday night but Sunday night he slept in the cab of the truck and I slept in the bed. He was drunk and come to find out he went MIA on the people who were supposed to be watching him because I kept getting sick (from the stress). I got up the next morning packed up all of the dog and my stuff and left without saying goodbye. He didn’t come home that night. I packed his stuff that night and went to work. While at work I reconnected with some old guy friends I couldn’t talk to when I was with my then husband. While talking to the guy friend I said that I was done crying every day and feeling like a failure. Done feeling I couldn’t do anything right. I left work early, ran home and packed my car with his stuff. Dropped the dog off to my parents house and went to where he hangs out when I’m at work. I told him that I was letting him be free which was what he wanted. He was so confused. Probably wondering how I found out he was cheating on me.
After kicking him out it was a few good days and bad nights followed by lots of bad days. But it’s a process. Everyone has to grieve at some point. It was the end of a relationship. Now looking back on that day almost 4 months ago now. I know it was the best decision I could make. I am miserable now some days but I don’t go home and cry every day. I’m not running around trying to please him. I am doing my thing and being me. There is nothing better than that. If a guy happens to come along and it turns into something more then friends or a hookup I would be more open to it but I would want to go slow.
We have all dated one (at least) or have been one. What is a clinger? A clinger is someone who is always around and begging for attention in a relationship. My friend has one right now. She has a friend who loves her but she doesn’t love this friend. This friend told her that if they have sex one time she would be done and totally understood they wouldn’t go any further. Well it happened and the friend is still around. Staying at her house all the time and hinders her from getting other dates.
I also have one. I had a guy ask me out on a date a few months ago. We went, it was fun, but I told him my situation and told him I was not ready to be in a relationship. Well he said he understood and stuck around. I pushed him away for a long time but didn’t get anywhere so I went out with him again, just as friends. Now he wants to come over and spend the night. He is rather pushy and insistent that he wants to come over. Even after I continue to tell him multiple times I do not want a relationship or to date anyone right now.
These people are crazy. Yes I have been on the other side of it to. Constantly fighting for someone’s attention not knowing if they like me or not. But I am not pushing them or trying to persuade them to have sex or go out on a date with me even after they tell me no. It’s like these people have no morals and are so desperate for attention that they will do anything even put the other person in an awkward situation.
You try to let them down easy but when that doesn’t work you start trying other ways, faking a romance with someone else, telling them your a lesbian/gay. Yet still you get no where. They state they are okay with just being friends but continue to push you to do things you don’t want to do. It comes to blocking them. But if your like my friend. She can’t really block this friend because they hang out in the same circle of friends.
What do you do when you don’t like your job and honestly the only job you ever loved was way to stressful and you were being overworked and way under paid? What if you don’t know what you want to do but you know you don’t want to keep moving jobs every few years…Your ready to settle down, have a steady life? Can life really be steady? What happened to the years of everyone staying at jobs for their entire working career? Has the younger generation really become people who are movers?
Trust me I know my ex and old clients were definitely movers. They were the ones that would have a good job but quit it because it was too hard and there was a better job that paid more money a few doors down. You know the building that had the “Hiring” Sign in the front lawn? So they would quit their very good job and go apply for that other job. Only to realize that they aren’t qualified for that job or just didn’t get it.
I at least have the sense to have a job before I quit my old one. It’s just the rundown feeling I get when I get close to wanting to leave. Like now, trust my being a paper pusher is fun and all but coming from a life of Social Work (Child Welfare) where there weren’t enough hours in the day and endless amounts of work. It’s a big difference, and I know for sure I am not a cookie cutter, corporate office worker. I have tattoos, I like to have my nose ring (it isn’t in now but I want it to be again) and I have a purple streak through my hair that I get dirty looks about all the time. Cookie cutter office worker? Hell no!
Then again I don’t want to be my age, 26, and working at McDonald’s trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow older. I can’t do that, I have responsibilities and a HUGE hole I have to dig myself out of thanks to my bum of an ex. Although if it came down to it, I would probably go back to foodservice because it is a job. No matter how many people think its beneath them, again my ex (I’m sorry). A job is a job people! Even if it is just a stepping stone to a better job down the road but make sure you already have that job before you go quitting your old one…