What’s your top story of 2017 & looking ahead to 2018

I was listening to the radio between Christmas and New Years and the host asked the audience, “What is your top story of 2017?” He went on to state that he got to take a trip to Australia to see his daughter. People were calling in and one even stated her’s was that she lost her job.

It got me thinking about what my top story of 2017 would be. I couldn’t think of anything that big! There were sure some highlights of the year, like I was officially divorced on the 3rd of January, I got to get to spend time with my niece and continue to mend relationships with family members, but that’s all I could think of. I really had no idea what other highlights I would have that were good. I mean yeah, I got paid from my ex husband and am officially over him and having anything to do with him. But those things don’t seem as big as what this year could have held.

Do you ever have that, when you look back at the year and can’t think of anything BIG that happened that you are overly happy about? What qualifies as Big to you? Are Milestones really that big in the grand scheme of things?

What about this years resolutions? Do you have any realistic big dreams to accomplish this year? I gave up on the loosing weight and getting healthy one. That will happen in time. I think my biggest resolution this year is to find the little things in life, the things that make me happy and to do more of those things.

Did you know, speaking of resolutions, there is a day in January known as “Ditch New Years Resolutions Day” it’s January 17th. I wonder if that means people usually make it only 17 days before they ditch their resolutions. It’s so easy to do, we always put things off until the next day or the next day and when we screw up on our resolutions we think, “Oh well, I’ll just get back on the band wagon tomorrow…” Why do we even make resolutions if they end up being broken anyway?

Brokenness… A moment of Weakness

Christmas is a time for family and a time to be together. But driving up north Christmas Eve after going to Church with my family, I had a moment of weakness. I began to breakdown and wonder where I went wrong? Was it me who made the mistake? Should I have even filed for Divorce?

I know all those thoughts going through my head were just doubts that I know weren’t true but in the moment of weakness I wanted to believe it. I wanted to be happy and spend Christmas with my new husband not counting down the days until my divorce is final.

Not to mention Christmas day having to cater my whole Christmas around my brother, his wife and their child. As if my life and feelings don’t matter. My brother who still isn’t 50% ok with me right now kept pushing me off when questions were asked and things were brought up.

Christmas is a time to be with family… Even a dysfunctional family… Not to be arguing and feeling like you don’t belong…

The never ending battle with snow

It’s winter and of course living in the Mid-West there is always snow. It’s a never ending battle. I’ve grown up with it, dealt with the horrible snow storms (driving and being a shut in) as well as the not so horrible winters. It’s inevitable that it’s going to happy, for god-sakes I live in the Mid-West! How can anyone from around here complain about snow. We live in this and know it’s coming…Every single year… Yet every single year we complain. Complain it’s too cold, the roads are too bad, and how we can’t wait for it to be Summer. But guess what! Come Summer time we will begin to complain again, that it’s too hot and we don’t have any A.C.

What we really need to do is be grateful for the snow. Imagine a Christmas without snow? I’ve been to Florida around Christmas and it’s just not the same. Yes the weather is usually nice and I can spend the day on the beach but there is nothing like seeing that snow outside the window that your Christmas tree sits in front of.

I guess what I’m trying to say is yes snow sucks but imagine a life without a white Christmas, being able to sled, build snowmen, go snowboarding or down hill skiing. There are a lot of activities to do even though it is cold. Embrace them.

The holiday’s

The holiday’s are supposed to be a fun time with your family. Where you all get together and hang out, eat food and talk. Sometimes there is even presents involved. This is how they are supposed to be… But for a recently soon-to-be divorced woman, they are the opposite. I find myself lacking cheer and being very irritated around family members. Any one thing could set me off. Don’t get me wrong, I love my family but seriously if my grandma says one more negative comment I just might snap. (That’s how it’s been the last couple of years).

Being a recently single woman I find the holiday’s hard. I’m supposed to be happy and deciding with my husband where we go for Thanksgiving or who’s party we go to and what gifts we will get each other. Now I am stuck being the tag along to all of my friends Christmas parties or just not going. Then I sit in the corner at family gatherings, being the soft, shut off person in the corner who is secretly plotting the fastest way out of there.

Most of the time I’m at home about an hour before the gathering thinking of excuses on why I can’t go there. I probably have used the “I’m sick” excuse one too many times. I don’t only do this with family around the holidays I find myself doing it with friends and potential guys. I don’t want to go out and have fun I’d rather self loath in my bed eating junk food and watching sappy movies. Can I get an amen!?!

The thought of going to yet another party or going out yet again with that friend sounds daunting. Why would I want to get dressed, travel through the snow (also a great excuse right now), waste gas and money I don’t have just to sit with them and hear about how great their life is right now. Only for them to realize half way through their amazing vacation story with their significant other they stop and look at me with said eyes and say “oh, I’m sorry. I forgot.” Forgot what? That I’m going through a rough time and am currently going through the worst event in my life. Yeah thanks for reminding me yet again! Instead I say, “Oh, I’m fine. Go on with your story, it sounds like so much fun!” and plaster a smile on my face.

People always want to talk to you at the parties to see how you are doing and to make sure you don’t feel left out. They want to know if anything is new and if you have moved on. When really you just want to be left alone in your little corner with a glass of wine, beer or alcohol in your hand. Oh the joy of the holidays.