Do you ever feel like you aren’t good enough? Look sexy enough? Act smart enough? In our society today it’s all about looks. The skinnier you are the more attractive you look. So people strive to be super skinny and unhealthy in an act to obtain that thigh gap or those 6 pack abs.
When you go through a divorce you begin to think this as well. You begin to question your self-esteem and wonder what you did wrong in the relationship that your significant other had to cheat on you or no long loves you. But why do we turn in word to our appearances? What if it’s not about us at all? I keep reading about how Divorce is never 100% that persons fault (or your fault) it is usually 60/40, 50/50, 30/70. The marriage broke up for a reason or even multiple reasons. They may have cheated on you, but you have to look at what you did in the relationship, you may not have made them go out and cheat but you probably also didn’t lead them on in a romantic way. When was the last time you and your spouse went out on a date? An actual romantic date? Even though we get married we aren’t supposed to stop dating.
The question that I hear a lot of my friends struggle with when getting a divorce, Did I do all I could have done? I often asked that question before I kicked my ex out. I remember going on a walk with my parents one night and I was in tears wondering if I truly had done it all or was I missing something. It wasn’t long after that when I decided that I had done everything I could. I was being hurt more emotionally and psychologically then I was benefiting from the relationship. I decided then that it was over. It was only after I served him papers that he responded saying, “Let’s go to counseling”. (Mind you I had asked him for months to go to counseling and he kept stating we didn’t need it.) It was his last ditch effort to keep me as the supplier in the relationship. I knew though it wasn’t what I wanted. To come to that decision though was a very hard process. It didn’t happen overnight.
I think when we are making decision, just like when we are contemplating on buying that new car or dress, we need to really think about it. Too often we jump to the next big thing not looking at the outcome in the long run or how it will effect you in the future. We are people who focus on the present not on the future. Moving to look at the future takes a lot of time. We can’t jump from one job to another if we don’t like it. Sometimes we have to stick around until something better comes along. But then again we get back to the question of “Did I really do enough?” Sometimes we leave things to be unfinished and forget about them, other times we rush to finish and don’t do a good job.
I heard once that you know your passionate about something when you can’t forget about it. When it continues to come to mind when you have a bad day, contemplating your next move, or looking toward your future. What can’t you forget about? What is your passion? What do you want to be known as?
We can all strive to be better, even if that doesn’t look like the magazines, TV shows or celebrities. We decide what makes us better.