Do you ever hate admitting defeat? I’m talking about when you think you did nothing wrong and yet here you are standing before the person saying, “I’m sorry.” Most people don’t even say I’m sorry after they have done something wrong. They like to sweep it under the rug and not deal with the problem. It’s the elephant in the room no one likes to talk about…

elephant-in-the-room

At some point that elephant is going to get bigger and bigger until you can no longer just ‘sweep it under the rug’. Soon things get intense to the point where a HUGE fight ensues and in the end someone gets hurt… Or you both do… It’s that kind of fight where you or the person your fighting with starts to bring up things you/they thought were over yet here you/they are bringing it up again. Half the stuff brought up you don’t even remember. Some of it is meaningless other points are huge points. Some of it is hurtful and brings back memories you’d rather not have.

I think the worst is when someone brings up a traumatic event of your life and tries to use it against you. My ex did that a lot when we would fight. He would always seem to sneak in the fact that I was raped. Using it against me and expecting me to back away or run away like a lost puppy. When this first started happening I would run away and lick my wounds but then as time went on I began to fight back. He didn’t like that, he wanted me to be weak so he could have the upper hand and continue to use me for everything I had. Even now, after we have been divorced for almost 4 months, he still tries to play mind games with me. Wanting to get into my head, using things against me to try and con me into believing any lie coming out of his mouth.

So what happens when we admit defeat? Everyone deals with it differently. Some try to get revenge in non-conventional ways, secretly plotting to get our revenge at the right time. Some brush it off like nothing happened. Others confront the person and say “I’m sorry” and try to mend bridges. I’m the one who runs away and hides while I lick my wounds.

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One thought on “Admitting Defeat

  1. This speaks to me…so much. I am currently living with my ex for a variety of reasons. In the last year there have been money stresses and he can’t handle them. It builds up for a couple weeks and while things seem normal, they aren’t. Then the blow up where he brings up everything I have screwed up in the last 2 years. It’s always me apologizing. But I’m now standing my ground and trying to stay positive

    Liked by 1 person

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