The holiday’s are supposed to be a fun time with your family. Where you all get together and hang out, eat food and talk. Sometimes there is even presents involved. This is how they are supposed to be… But for a recently soon-to-be divorced woman, they are the opposite. I find myself lacking cheer and being very irritated around family members. Any one thing could set me off. Don’t get me wrong, I love my family but seriously if my grandma says one more negative comment I just might snap. (That’s how it’s been the last couple of years).
Being a recently single woman I find the holiday’s hard. I’m supposed to be happy and deciding with my husband where we go for Thanksgiving or who’s party we go to and what gifts we will get each other. Now I am stuck being the tag along to all of my friends Christmas parties or just not going. Then I sit in the corner at family gatherings, being the soft, shut off person in the corner who is secretly plotting the fastest way out of there.
Most of the time I’m at home about an hour before the gathering thinking of excuses on why I can’t go there. I probably have used the “I’m sick” excuse one too many times. I don’t only do this with family around the holidays I find myself doing it with friends and potential guys. I don’t want to go out and have fun I’d rather self loath in my bed eating junk food and watching sappy movies. Can I get an amen!?!
The thought of going to yet another party or going out yet again with that friend sounds daunting. Why would I want to get dressed, travel through the snow (also a great excuse right now), waste gas and money I don’t have just to sit with them and hear about how great their life is right now. Only for them to realize half way through their amazing vacation story with their significant other they stop and look at me with said eyes and say “oh, I’m sorry. I forgot.” Forgot what? That I’m going through a rough time and am currently going through the worst event in my life. Yeah thanks for reminding me yet again! Instead I say, “Oh, I’m fine. Go on with your story, it sounds like so much fun!” and plaster a smile on my face.
People always want to talk to you at the parties to see how you are doing and to make sure you don’t feel left out. They want to know if anything is new and if you have moved on. When really you just want to be left alone in your little corner with a glass of wine, beer or alcohol in your hand. Oh the joy of the holidays.